Rock me, Baby!

This is it -- The Holy Grail -- lent to us at The Sands by our sister organization in Northern California, The Rockway Institute. This mystical rock is revered because of its legendary powers to enthrall and grant release. Sister to The Maltese Falcon, the Cunt Rock is much sought after and has changed hands many times. Now, the Cunt Rock is the undisputed provenance of The Rockway Institute. The Rock's power stems from the breadth of its sweep encompassing significant overlap with all the world's major wisdom traditions. It is part Tooth Fairy, part Birthday Cake Candle, part Novena, part Wailing Wall and a thousand other threads of the Golden Bough weave through the Rock's aura. She who wishes to make a request of the Cunt Rock must first write the wish on a strip of paper. No one else may look at the wish (this is honored without exception). The wisher then folds her wish down to a narrow strip of paper and inserts the wish into the Rock's slit where it must remain untouched for nine days to the minute. As the precise moment approaches, the wisher gathers her best friends for a "witual" that will remove the wish from its gestation in the Rock and make it manifest in the world. The area or altar where this is done is first cleaned and strewn with flower petals. Celebrants then light a candle and observe a moment of silence during which each celebrant asks the Universe to grant the wish. The wisher then picks up the Rock and presents it to the seven directions of the Universe, after which she pulls the wish strip from the cunt and lights it on fire using the candle. The celebrants watch as the fire releases the wish energy into the Universe and, when the wish is no more than ash, the wisher smudges her thumb in the ash and marks the forehead of each participant. Celebrants then wear the smudge mark all evening -- no matter WHAT.